I grew up in a home where everything had to look perfect from the outside. I learned not to be honest about my thoughts, words, and actions, to hide what I was feeling or thinking about others, and instead, to just put on a happy face. What was modeled for me was that you don’t communicate honestly with people until after they leave and then you tell what you really think of them. I guess according to Proverbs 10:18, I learned how to be a fool.
In an environment where everything has to be perfect, it becomes really hard to be honest. Every mistake that I made had to be covered up, every negative thought buried. There’s not much security where there is a lack of truth. No wonder I struggle so much with trust. We were nice but we weren’t loving.
As Christians, we are called to love one another and love demands honesty. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Eph. 4:15. To grow into the mature, loving, unified bride that God desires of His church, we need to learn to love each other enough to risk being honest.
When we harbor ill feeling towards another brother or sister, we divide the church. We are called to go and be reconciled. If you have offended someone or someone has offended you, go and be reconciled. The outcome, though, depends so much on the motivation. Are you seeking unity or are you seeking to be heard? Are you striving for love or retribution? Are you hoping for forgiveness or bringing excuses? “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 1Cor.13:6.
God isn’t into raising fools. As His children, let love and truth be the foundation on which we build or life.