The words that we speak are to be full of grace and seasoned with salt. They are to be heavy on the Gospel and light on the Law. They are to be mostly encouraging and only slightly critical.
Harvard Business Review states that “The factor that made the greatest difference between the most and least successful teams, Heaphy and Losada found, was the ratio of positive comments to negative comments that the participants made to one another. The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was 5.6.” This is echoed by John Gottman’s analysis of wedded couples’ likelihood of getting divorced or remaining married. The single biggest determinant is the ratio of positive to negative comments the partners make to one another. And the optimal ratio is once again five positive comments for every negative one. Some, like Dr. Latham in his research, up this ratio to 8 positive comments for every negative one.
So, go ahead and splurge on the good stuff. Fill up your conversations with grace, and love, and encouraging words.